gracefullikeagazelle:

knives-and-pipes:

upgraders:

most private thing im willing to admit: im not good at estimating how much pasta is enough for one person 

image there’s a tool for that

I’m sorry, does that scale progress from a child to a HORSE?

thegingermullet:

Did they ever reveal how Captain America was thawed? Because I’m picturing a bunch of Shield agents with hair dryers and I don’t think that’s quite right.

NO BUT SERIOUSLY

jamietheignorantamerican:

WHY DOES NO ONE TALK ABOUT THE QUETZALCOATLUS?!

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I MEAN, JESUS F. CHRIST.

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PTERODACTYLS AIN’T SHIT NEXT TO THESE MOTHER FUCKERS. QUETZALCOATLUS FUCKING ATE BABY DINOSAURS FOR BRUNCH.

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LITTLE-FOOT, NOOOO!!!

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JUST IMAGINE SOMETHING AS TALL AS A MOTHER FUCKING GIRAFFE

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SOARING THROUGH THE SKIES AT 80 MILES PER HOUR, AND THEN SWOOPING DOWN AND FUCKING EATING YOUR FACE OFF. 

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FUCKING QUETZALCOATLUS

crocobaby:

Do you think every president goes through a awkward first few weeks in office when they’re not sure when’s the right time to ask if aliens are real or not?

balthstiel:

Hedwig Buckbeak Potter, you were named after some hella winged animals hella rad high five son